This is my take on it. I am now slightly disturbed by myself and it doesn't help that I actually got the idea while I was hungry.
Danny took the bacon out of the frying pan and placed it on a paper towel. Then he poured the pieces of meat into the still greasy frying pan. There was a muffled scream from behind him, but Danny ignored it and stirred the meat to make sure it didn't got burned. When he was satisfied, he turned the heat down and stepped over to the kitchen table, where the ingredients were laid out. One was missing. He walked over to the refrigerator and opened it.
The man lying tied up on the floor was panting heavily and watching him with large frightened eyes over the gag.
“You know,” Danny said, then frowned and paused for a moment, as he wondered where the mayonnaise had gotten of to, “I'm kind of disappointed in your friends. I don't mean the fact that they haven't offered to pay the ransom; I'm hardly surprised that they didn't want to part with that much money for your fat ass.” He paused again and chuckled. “Fat ass. Heh heh!” He finally spotted the jar of mayonnaise and took it.
He closed the fridge and walked back to the cooker, where he looked at the meat, stirred it some more and added a generous dose of freshly ground pepper. Then he started to spread the mayonnaise on three slices of bread, lying on a large plate. “Really, I only made the ransom demand as a joke. And to let them know that I have you, without making it too obvious that I wanted them to know.”
He screwed the lid back on the jar, then proceeded to place a couple of lettuce leafs on the first piece of bread. “I am however, disappointed that they haven't tried to attack this place and get to you. If not to save you, then simply to stop you from spilling your beans. After all, you've been a mole for quite some time and you must know just as much juicy stuff about them as you do about me.” He added a couple of very thin tomato slices on top of the lettuce. Then he added four pieces of bacon, laid in a neat grid as if he was planning to play tic-tac-toe. He checked the meat and, satisfied, took the frying pan from the heat and placed half of the meat on top of the bacon.
The was another muffled howl, which Danny ignored as he had the first.
“As soon as they learned that I have you, they should have been barging in here, waving their guns around and trying to put a bullet through your brain, before you have a chance to talk.” He placed lettuce, tomato, bacon and the rest of the meat on the second slice of bread, then carefully placed it on top of the first slice. He put the third bread slice on top and added a couple of cocktail swords to keep the whole thing from sliding apart.
“Like I said, I'm disappointed. I was actually looking very much forward to it.”
He turned back to the man lying on the floor and walked towards him, plate in hand. He knelt down and held out the plate to him. “Doesn't it look nice?”
The man screamed again behind the gag and tried to move away, which made it look like he was trying to burrow into the wall behind him.
Danny rolled his eyes. “Oh, please,” he said. “There's no need to be so dramatic. You weren't even using that buttock for anything except sitting on.”